Written by Jeannette McCurdy, published 2022. Summary, review, and spoilers ahead.
Jeannette McCurdy’s book “I’m Glad My Mom Died” is a deeply personal and moving memoir that explores the author’s complicated relationship with her mother, and the grief and healing that followed her death. This autobiography details the life of the child star most famous for playing Sam Puckett from Nickelodeon’s iCarly.
McCurdy grew up in a dysfunctional family, with a mother who battled cancer and pushed her daughter into the limelight in hopes of living her childhood dreams vicariously through her daughter. Despite this, McCurdy had a strong bond with her mother and felt a deep sense of responsibility to take care of her. We get a detailed view of her upbringing, her early life, her family (primarily her mother), her Hollywood experiences, and the fallout from the dysfunction that is all the above.
This was a short read with very fast pacing. I didn’t love that each chapter was about twelve sentences, though ultimately this has no impact on the story itself. She does a good job however, with each chapter (i.e. short snippet of her past) in detailing her home life, her cancer-ridden and manipulative mother, and her encounters in Hollywood as a child star.
Starting with her mother, the real protagonist in the story, we see how from the very earliest of ages her mother pushes Jeannette into an acting career that she herself does not find particularly interesting, in order to fulfill her mother’s dream that never came to fruition – being a star. She is dragged from audition to audition, various acting classes, and quickly loses what should have been a normal childhood. It doesn’t help that her family can barely make ends meet, and hope of child stardom would also lead to financial relief for the family.
As all this is going on, her mother is also battling cancer. Certainly not good for anyone, but it seems that her mother uses her frail state as leverage and guilt to get Jeannette to do all the things that she wants. Which for this story, is to become famous. Unfortunately, as part of this process, her mother gives pretty terrible advice starting at the age of eleven. Restrict calories to look younger and smaller. A “great” way to promote healthy lifestyle and body image. Poor Jeannette becomes anorexic and will battle this and later bulimia throughout her life as fallout. Terrible to read, certainly much, much worse to live through.
If there is any saving grace, it’s that Jeannette does become famous joining the hit show iCarly. Of course I say this (mostly) in jest, as with success in Hollywood comes a dark side. Agents with no caring for others, creepy directors, access to drugs and alcohol, long days filming (in addition to whatever schooling she is able to do), and the stress of being recognized and the constant “need” to always be on. Hard for an adult to manage, seemingly impossible for a child to navigate.
While she may find success and fame, she also sees others leapfrog her stardom (namely Ariana Grande) and is met with failed promises (was set to direct some episodes but had the rug pulled).
As Jeannette works her way through life, she matures and starts to see all the cracks that were always around her. Aware of her eating disorders but unable to control them. Dates men much older and/or dealing with their own issues which do not contribute positively to her own self in any way. I did enjoy this read, though it’s difficult to fully comprehend the life she endured and the struggles she faced. The majority of the book follows her childhood (pre-18 years) though the fallout from success is also documented for a few years into her early adulthood. It’s a heartbreaking tale of an overbearing and manipulative parent who pushes her kid directly into a downward spiral of eating disorders, self-medicating with alcohol, and loads of therapy all so that her mother could live vicariously.
TLDR: A dark tale about child stardom and awful parents. An easy read, but one not to be taken lightly. Would recomment. 4/5 Stars.
